here going lost: history

Love writing! Between high school and college, wrote concepts for musical plays. In college, a high school batch-mate and I collaborated on what was supposed to be a sung-through musical. We only got to finish the first of two acts of Esther (based on the Bible's Book of Esther). From that first act, Noel Miranda has his inspirational song, Free, while I have the love duet Never Knew The Feeling (appears on 2004's Ready To). So every year from 2001 until 2004 and again this year, I collect at least three of my compositions, have them arranged, find singers, and record the songs, package them in a cd and give them away as my personalized Christmas present. Only this year, I'm selling the cd for charity. And as of this writing, I've decided on C.R.I.B.S. Foundation as the beneficiary.

2001 - Let Love

love of my life (1998)
let me (1999)
scared-y cat (2001)

That is not me on the cover. I just got a nice-looking image from the net and cropped it a bit. And there you have it. Friends from grade school recorded with me- Jorge Tapalla and Bryan Sy. Also recorded Scared-y Cat with Tim Manlallang.

2002 - No Goodbyes

no goodbyes (2001)
no ordinary joe (2000)
i wish i never learned to love (1999)

Took my passport photo and slapped it on the cover. I thought the clash between the title and the cover was amusing. Recruited a handful of friends from everywhere to render my songs- Gracci Juan, Jorge Tapalla, Bryan Sy, Jay Patrick Santiago, and Michael Vaflor.

2003 - Pluck Me

one thing (2001)
life lessons (1996)
all i want (1997)

Jumping on the acoustic bandwagon, I selected songs and had them arranged with just a guitar accompaniment.

2004 - Ready To

ready to love (2003)
lead me on (2004)
never knew the feeling (1992)

And this was the last cd before this year's HGL. In 2005, I got into indie film-making. I used some of the instrumentals of my songs in the 39-minute short, "69". In 2006, I directed the feature, "Mean Well". I didn't use any of my music here. I was supposed to do another feature last year and it being a musical movie too, I was going to use my songs. But I got busy with work and I couldn't finish the script so it got pushed back. And now I still haven't finished the script so I'll just try to complete it next year. In the meantime...

2008 - Here Going Lost

learn to let you go (2005)
missin' missin' you (2005)
more than i let you know (2008)

Both the 2005 songs I wrote while I was in Boston. The last song I wrote last June as a 1st anniversary present. I'll post more information or insights on this cd's songs in the next few entries...

here going lost

here going lost - a charity cd project.

Last August, I was mulling over what I could give as a Christmas present this year and I thought I could just package a few of my songs again in a cd. I first started doing something like this in 2001. Four years after my fourth cd, here I go again with three new, unrecorded songs plus the classic No Goodbyes. September - I found a new arranger to arrange two songs from 2005. Then I started scouting for people who could sing my songs. And then a wonderful idea popped into my head- I could partner with a group here at my office and sell the cd for charity! The proposal was submitted: Sell the cd for P50 and P40 will go to charity while P10 go to reproduction costs. Target units to be sold is 1,000 to raise P40,000 for charity! Ok, so now I have potential singers- a few friends and acquaintances here, and a few officemates there. I gave them the study cd with me roughly singing three out of the four songs (as of this entry, the fourth song is still with the arranger). Late October - recording started. I was also able to get an artwork from a young Swedish artist, xjoshua, for the cover. It's a sketch of Jeff Thomas, creator of popular web strip characters Pon and Zi.

Tomorrow afternoon will be the last recording session at Love One Another studios at C5. Afterwards, I'll be busy choosing the main tracks and the bonus tracks (per cd version), writing the cd insert text, and burning and printing on the actual cd. I'll be posting the lyrics, snippets of the recorded songs, thoughts about the songs, and the cd production in the next few blog entries.

Please watch out for the cd and buy a few copies. I hope to come out with it by the first week of December. It'll be a great present for Christmas and you'll be able to help underprivileged children through some notable charities (still choosing... Food For Hungry Minds? CRIBS?)

For more information, contact me at +639178535222 or send me IM via yahoo (cookie_curious), via aim (cookiecurious) , message me through this blog or via email at yahoo or at me@jaybeecc.com

Thanks for your support!

Mansociety - Liv and Luv (2003)

I have to try and grab a nicer copy of these videos and pictures... Although, they are from 5 years ago and taken from my old Panasonic video camera... Where is my old camera and the tapes?

Anyhow, Mansociety was an internet barkada (clique) founded in September 11, 2001 - yes, that's the date. I think founder Andrew was smoking a cig in a coffee place one night just before news broke of the terrorist attack in the U.S. and said "Why don't I form an internet barkada named Mansociety?" And the rest, as they say, and good thing not as sorrowfully remembered (if at all? *ahwehwehwe*), is history.
One youtube video here.
And another one here.
You can also visit my multiply site.
For this concert party, a couple of people from radio (AM not FM though) hosted with a contact center agent and a doctor.
The capacity of the Entertainment Hall in Robinson's Galleria was 600. But only 350 guests came. So there were more than enough beer to go around! :)
There was also a contest for the best dressed. Or was it star of the night? Or for people who really stood out with what they were wearing...
And here's a guest performance by someone from my office, singing an Ogie Alcasid medley. So there- a concert party almost six years ago... More pictures of the group in future entries.

Patience is a *BER* too

September is the start of the Christmas season here in the Philippines. At work, September is the start of the fiscal year. A new beginning. And lots of stuff to look forward to like gift giving in December, bonuses to buy the gifts with, parties, food, and hopefully we also look forward to opportunities doing good not just for ourselves. Schitz, this is going to be preachy but hey I don't do it often so bear with me. I received this email dubbed "voted as best email of the year" in which pictures of people in need are placed side by side with situations we may be more familiar with, comfortable situations, OUR comfortable situations. And it goes on to sort of lecture us: that we should feel so much better about ourselves despite feeling unhappy with our current situations, thinking our salaries are low, thinking we don't have as many friends as we want, thinking the world is against us, thinking we can't replace our year-old running shoes yet, etc... Oftentimes we may think life is unfair to us. If you are reading this, we are so wrong. I agree - we have no right to complain. We become impatient when we don't get the good fortune we think we deserve. Why don't we try to put our energies into pushing for helping others who need more than we do? Quick, push to help others now instead! If you can, donate to legitimate organizations that help those in need. Little things still add up to make a big difference. If we all work together, we'll be able to reward the patience of those who have long suffered.
*pictures are from the email I got

In the company I work for, they annually raise funds for an educational endeavor in Barobaybay (Samar). This activity happens around April to June. I have an idea of putting up water containers that employees can drop their loose change in much like the canisters you see in a lot of establishments in the shopping and even dining places in the metro. If we start now, maybe by April next year, we could fill up several. (Hmm, I haven't thought of how much effort is needed to roll those coins up later on so that it'll be easier to submit to the fund though...) I've named the activity - Baryabaybay (barya is Tagalog for coins or loose change). The by-line is: Change for the children. :) This could still change though... Loose change for a solid future? Oh, and I've thought of another activity but I'll just give details in a future update. Clue: Sing song blue.

Time for love

Aug. 16, 2005

right now, you're single. and happy - you tell yourself. you really are - you assure yourself. and then you see a couple walking by, holding hands and being sweet and a part of you betrays how much you long for a constant companion too - someone to share your life with, a person who would willingly share their life with you as well, and be your witness (taken from Susan Sarandon's line in the movie Shall We Dance?). and then the tougher part of you justifies that not having another person (apart from family) to exclusively love is fortunately not fatal. and the world being as it is - more people not all that serious or committed or sincere or loyal - finding that one special person to love with all your heart and with all your might is definitely difficult. are you being too choosy when there are already some choices? have you pushed yourself to remain single? yes. because there is a choice. to be with someone you really love and would grow to love even more. and since a relationship is between two people, both parties have to agree on the same thing: being in love with, loving, and continuing to love the other. and not just portions. life is quicker-paced today but a balance must be struck to get to know your (potential) partner better and to keep the strong feelings you have for that person. one: you should really be in love. your life makes adjustments to factor in your partner. and love does not diminish, it develops positively. two: you should be responsible with your commitment. you can't just call it quits. or were you really in love in the first place? do you love the person or do you just want to be with someone? love is shared. and it's not directed towards ourselves but outwards to everyone we can share it with- be it one single significant other, our family, friends, or other people. it would be nice to have a partner to spend the rest of your life with, with whom you can be weak and you'll hear 'it's ok, i'm here, things are going to be alright.' and you're hopeful for that. as you're hopeful that life can be lived as productively, lovingly, and happily with or without a witness. love goes on.

Positive Illusions

Feb. 20, 2007

Reading Marc Buckingham's book on managing, leading, and succeeding, entitled "the one thing you need to know," I came upon a section that discussed the one thing you need to know about (a) happy marriage. It was just a parallelism to what he's going to tackle in the book but it had a very strong point in itself. It can also be applied to life, in general. And it supported some of the beliefs I subscribe to. To rephrase what Mr. Buckingham offered, the one thing you need to know about happy marriage, or I'd like to replace it with the term commitment, is that you have to give the best, most generous, and positive explanations for your partner's characteristics and behavior. It's a positive illusion. It may not totally be true but you have to believe in it. And if you think about it, yes, if you will maintain a positive outlook towards your partner and relationship, it will affect you just as positively. Notice how people and their relationships start to sour once they notice, keep noticing, and dwell on something not so likeable about their partner or the relationship they're in. Notice how quickly we get dismayed or depressed when something doesn't go as we planned it or when we hear something not too nice about ourselves. It's a natural reaction to feel bad and to not ignore when something isn't to your liking. But if play up the good things more and keep on believing in those things, life may seem better and easier too. It's pretty basic actually - just "think positive" or "look on the bright side" but it's not that easy to perform. Why else do you think when we were children we'd ask why it's so much easier for adults to see our mistakes rather than the good things we do. Well, if you're a parent yourself now, you'd notice you're doing that to your children too. But you still might not have the real answer as to why. No, it's not because we want our kids to be good and behave well and become better citizens when they grow older. Well, it's not exactly the reason why we notice the bad things first. So, I think, once we commit to someone, we'd have a better chance for that relationship to last if we keep on believing the positive things that we saw in our partner in the first place and that made us fall in love. Sounds a bit too idealistic? Sounds impractical, huh? What would you do if you find out your husband cheated on you? That could be a subject of another post but if we were to follow the positive illusions principle, I'd think what you'd do is ask yourself if you want to save the marriage and if the husband is repentant and if you think everything can still be saved. Ask yourself what is important to you and how much do you love your husband. Anyway, there are exceptions to every rule but this particular idea of positive illusions can be very helpful. To a child with no one to encourage him, he can still believe in himself to try to best in something he wants to do; to a spouse who catches her husband cheating on her, she can still believe that who she married is the man for her and that man commited a mistake he's sorry for and that man is still the one she sees herself spending the rest of her life with; to the ordinary man who works hard and yet just barely gets by each day, he can still believe that a brighter future waits for us all if not at least for the next generation, and that more and more people will help to ensure that future. These things may be positive illusions now but they can also guide us so that we can make them the reality very soon.

Happy Anniversary!

Plus this is my 200th post on this blog. Woo! So I'd like to thank the biggest inspiration I've had the past year... by a song :) It was 2005 since I last wrote a song and I don't know when the last time was that I wrote a song that's not a bitter-sweet or really-bitter love song. All thanks to my inspiration... L-l-like the song, I hope you do... Yes, the song! For L-l-le-let's get on with it, shall we? Closer, come closer... L-l-lyrics first...

MORE THAN I LET YOU KNOW

Love has come my way before
Then it couldn't stay no more
When least expected, this new chance,
You swept in to the rescue

Still amazed at how the stars
Had aligned and then conspired
To gift you to this fool aspiring
Never tiring just for you

No doubt, I'm not
The perfect match for you but
No indecision,
Though times I've said it few,
How much I love you so-
Much more than I let you know

There were times that I'd be scared
Losing you, may I be spared
My happiness revolves around
Your happiness delivered

Still I can't
Be everything to you but
Not one condition
So that I'll be true to
How much I love you so
Much more than I let you know

(Instrumental)

No doubt, I'm not
The perfect match for you but
No indecision,
Though times I've said it few,
How much I love you so-
Much more than I let you know

Long and short of it

Jan. 09, 2004

Some people are fixated with lengths, from longer
hair to longer legs to longer penises. Some people
think that longer is better, just like with the
ability to prolong copulation. The longer you
sustain one orgasm or have multiple orgasms over
just one period of lenghty, sweaty, intercourse,
would merit you a badge, a medal, or a trophy. But
as in any physical stimulation, pain or pleasure
is ephemeral. And wouldn't NOT prolonging the sex
act give you and your partner extra time to do
other things that could also produce various forms
of pleasurable feelings?

I don't know if there would be more men than women
who would think that a lengthier sex act is better.
I think only women can fake their orgasms so I
suppose women won't mind having just one a night in
maybe 15 minutes? Men, on the other hand, seem to
relish the idea of being able to make things longer.
For one, almost every man thinks that a longer dick
means a happier chick (or partner, to be politically
correct about it), well, except of course for those
who move to justify that endowment is useless
without proper style. So men then only think this
way just to feel superior? And yet during the sex
act, humans are at one of their most vulnerable.

The best tools do not necessarily make the best
products. And even then, somewhere else, there
could be one that is better. Long times spent on a
task does not mean a high-quality result. It is
more probable that the doer ends up more tired. So
just get whatever you have to do done in the least
amount of time, yet putting as much of yourself
into it, then you'll never fall short of doing
the best that you can for more things.

Faith, fate, fetes

Aug. 19, 2003

I believe that we all have to believe in something to
continue to survive. God and the mysteries of all of
the religions have continued to successfully evade
definition and explanation because, then, they wouldn't
remain mysterious, would they? Their very existence
depends on the mystery. They cannot afford to be
disproven. We also cannot afford that these things
we hold on to be disproven. And there are truths that
we certainly cannot handle. Like: Does our having
free will limit God's omniscience? And does fate
define the boundaries of our free will? Which came
first -- the egg or the chicken?

When we are born, our parents imagine the best for us.
When we learn how to imagine ourselves, we imagine
even better. We see ourselves as we could be further
down the road of life. We see ourselves to have
achieved goals we have set. That vision of our future
pushes us to continue to live. And if we were to look
at our life as just one long road with a beginning and
an end, on that last step is where religion, and, more
generally, faith earns its significance. If we did
not believe in anything- in what happens after we die,
in God, in karma, in lasting love, in memories, in
family and friends, what will hold us back from doing
just about anything that enters our minds now? The
world may be in an even worse situation than it
already is.

Only death and change are absolute, they say. May I
add making choices. We have to take sides, whether it
is regarding religion or consuming meat products. Our
choices define our experiences. Our experiences
define our lives. And we are part of other people's
experiences which define them. That's why we're here.
We are alive and we have choices to make. Let's live
responsibly and make responsible choices too because
we don't live alone.

Religion is part of our lives. It tries to fill a
void that will remain a void until we die and learn,
if at all, of other truths, that by then won't matter
anyway. But being human, we tend to justify our
actions and inactions now, and speculate on
repercussions. This happens most when we are treading
on uncertain ground, when we do not understand. And
then we also try to make others believe what we
believe to make us appear stronger in that belief.
But truth is as unique to each individual as there are
as many souls or as many as those who believe there
are souls. We get to choose what we believe in. So
choose. And believe.

I believe I know the chicken came first.

Pet peeves

I don't like driving behind smoke-belchers. Why are there any still? Some people must not be doing their jobs... I think they're hidden somewhere where they can just pounce on color-coding violators. Back to the smoke-belchers... I especially dislike getting Stella (my car) fogged because it sticks to her body and seeing as I don't have her washed more than once a week, children playing along our streets find it rather amusing to scribble their names and other messages on Stella.
Another peeve is entering a full parking lot that has several vertical levels that when there are no signs of anyone driving out, you'd have to look for another lot to park at and you've just used up gas the parking lot doesn't pay for and for some lots, they still charge you their minimum rate.

And then there's seeing these posters...
I'm not surprised why people throw stuff at it or overwrite the text with nasty messages. My question is "Why?" Why do these politicians have to plaster their names and images on every project they green-light? Was it their personal money? I'm guessing they will get to add on to their personal stash. I see waiting sheds with the whole name of the politician on top like there was a bus named the same going to stop there and pick up passengers. Do not vote for these people!

Ooh, have you seen the tv ads of Loren Lagarda and Manny Villar? Isn't it too early? Ok, ok, you want to help the "masang Pilipino," and become President. But seeing your faces and reading your names constantly is, in my opinion, disgusting.
All in the family: this Arlene girl who wants to follow in the footsteps of final-councilor-termer-brother is working pretty early to get her name out there and be known. They have contracts in place they wouldn't want other people getting? They want to keep the meager councilor salary in the family? Geez, anyone who gets to be President or a law-maker should first raise the salaries of government employees so they won't consider illegal means to get wealthy.

I still would want to be President or someone with enough power to change things for the better. But I don't think I'll do any good dead. And I fear the people in power now can easily kill off or "silence" anyone who radically don't follow the lead. Sigh. Hang in there, beloved country. Soon, things will be better.

Heart, the chihuahua

A little over a month ago, my sister's boss gave her a dog, a 3-year old chihuahua named Heart. Heart Evangelista. Isn't she cute? Yes, the dog. She's given birth twice, I heard. Yes, the dog.Here's where she sleeps, her duck-shaped doggie bed.
She's real friendly, too friendly in fact that she got dog-napped last Friday. A couple of kids climbed the medium-high wall near our gate and just took Heart. Good thing someone saw the vile deed. The next day, a bunch of kids returned Heart saying that they found her roaming the esquinita leading to our gate.
O-k, so apparently besides being a mild-mannered dog, Heart can also fly.
Sometimes, she's pretty active, jumping up and down on your leg and sometimes, she just sits there quietly waiting for a treat.

Wait for you (cover)

When you have some time to spare... maybe, just maybe, you'll take out your video camera and try to sing again. Maybe you'll decide on Elliott Yamin's and Kyla's hit and record yourself singing... And then, you'll upload it to youtube and to your blog. And here it is. Don't hate, wasn't really feeling too good today :(

33

And so it ends. Another 9-set Whether vain. And looking back at the 32 years of my life, I still feel I'm very blessed. And I'm still out to be able to, in my own little way, share the blessings I have received. "Why throw even one starfish back to the sea? There are hundreds of others on the shore - you can't throw all of them back in. - It matters for that one." Do what good I can, yeah.

Whether vain set 17

An even worse time this set. In one picture I look drunk and on the way to the Conference in Clark, Pampanga, Sunday the 25th, I receive news that my dear spinster grandmother (my dad's aunt) who took care of my dad and my sister and I when we were growing up passed away in Bikol. I didn't attend the wake or the funeral. I was confused. I didn't know what was going on. This was the first time a close family member died and I was here in the Philippines (the first one when my dad's dad died, it was my first working day back in Boston in 2005). And I found myself crying driving to work. And crying dressing up for work. And still I couldn't get myself to go to Bikol. Anyway, my dad and my aunt Gilda went. And Tita Gilda has hearsay stories of how Lola Citan kept a picture of me (she thought it was me but it was another person) under her bed and she was asking for me just before she died. Heavy sigh. Necita Luzentales Corrioso was 87. I love you, Lola, and I will miss you. May God take you in His arms and may you rest in peace.

Whether vain set 16

Yes, I noticed it. In the first nine sets, I think I looked less stressed out. I don't know. Yeah, I can still smile in my situation but inside me, I'm stressed. Who wouldn't be stressed in my situation- my 5-year project ends in August, and up to now I don't feel I really belong anywhere yet? The project I'm supposed to handle keeps pushing back. The latest news is that it's delayed for, get this, at least 6 months. So I've aired my sentiments at the first opportunity. And they're getting me to help another project. And there's this other opportunity I'm interested in more and I don't know if I can get that. That would be like the chance I need to prove I deserve going manager by the next round of deliberations. I think I'd like to concentrate on managerial tasks now. Although there's some fulfillment in analyzing programs and coding, it's like 'been there, done that' for me. Ever since I became senior consultant (Associate Manager) in 2004 but kept on doing development work until my last project folded in August, I felt like I was bursting at the seems with wanting to do management work. But I had to be patient... And now, it seems it's the right time, what with being patient for so long and giving everyone a chance too to be supportive of me. It's time to be assertive and stay only for the work that makes me happy too.

Whether vain set 15

Went on training for a week. And when I got back, stress all over! I had to scramble at anything and everything I could work on just to keep the depression stemming from feeling like I'm in work limbo from taking over me or pulling me down-doo-bie-doo-down-down. So I act like a jolly camper making slide presentations and presenting them, and supervising a bunch of newbie programmers, and smiling when bumping into people along the corridors, and trying not to cry when they ask, "How's work?" And upcoming is less work and still not knowing where all this is taking me (just to learn how to be patient?!?!?!) and more training and more just-helping-with-what-i-can-while-everybody-else-is-passing-me-by-only-i-
know-what-i-can-do-and-everything-is-out-of-anyone's-control-especially-when-
it-comes-to-making-things-better-for-everybody-else-oh-well-i-don't-know-
there's-just-sigh-frown-sigh-again... Hope for the best? Think positive? Done that. Trying to be active, proactive, whatever, and there's just this wall I can't get around, over, under, alone... And it smells like I've been stranded... What if I click this?

Whether vain set 14

Happy set. Went to Tagaytay. It was cold. Road was scary at night- the edge of the cliff seemed so close! The inn was relatively cheap. The restaurants weren't. Good thing there were fast food places. But didn't go there. The view of the volcano was excellent! Ok, at first I wasn't sure which land mass was the volcano... ahwehwehwe Took pictures with an old SLR. Half didn't get developed. Half of those that did were crap. Last week I wanted to learn how to get some use out of the old SLR, had it cleaned even for P1,700; and this week, I'd like to sell it. Pentax MX, anyone? From the 1970's... In good condition... Original lens photographers (even digital ones) are scrambling for... (I could be exaggerating, I don't know, I just heard the lens was pretty good) But not for P1,700... No? Anyone? Dust. (I miss Little Britain! A little)

Whether vain set 13

My heart sank when I heard it- the project that I was to lead was pushed back not two weeks but now, two months and it'll kick off in January. My head spun- what am I going to do now? Two months since I rolled off from my previous project and I'm still training new-comers. I'm doing good, pretty good actually, on it, discovering and correcting flaws and I must say I think the trainees do learn a lot from the program and not just because I'm handling it now. But there a lot of things to improve with this program and with the account I'm in right now. And I haven't even been formally introduced as part of the account, just someone on the outskirts lending a hand because I'm available to help. Helping is not the problem. The direction I'm trying to set for myself has just undergone another setback. And will the remaining time (beginning January up to May or June - that's just six months until the start of the evaluation process) I have to prove my capacity to lead and to manage be enough to prove just that? Will I be open to any other opportunity that would give me the kind of work I've been longing and been ready for? I know I'm ready. But will I be given the chance to get it? And what kind of chance is it? Whirrrl.

Whether vain set 12

Such a tiring week! Going to work early, coming home late, working home, sleeping much later, waking up early again, getting 4 hours of sleep... I'm about to cry... tears of joy. WTF?!?! Beats me- I'm beat and I'm happy about it. I get to do some thinking, some decision-making, and I work hard to complete tasks.

Hmm, interesting, this is the first set wherein all the pictures are taken from my bedroom (well, one is just outside the door of my bedroom)... Means I've been too busy at work to even take a shot of myself there ahwehwehwe

Whether vain set 11

Why smile? There are a lot of things to not smile about. Life is not fair. Life sucks. Shit happens a lot. And yet, life is just too great the chance to spend it all crying and frowning and grumbling. So while I wonder if my previous sentence is grammatically correct, I have this to say: Yeah, problems abound. And if you're reading this via the internet, it's 100% certain that there are people out there in worse situations, having oh so much worse problems than yours. And it's oh so much better to try to find solutions rather than dwelling on the problems, trying to move forward than staying put to dig up remains, trying to swim away from what potentially could be a whirlpool of negative vibes, a sinkhole out to quickly attach despair onto your soul.
Take it easy. Take care. Live your life happily, responsibly. Within reason, smile and laugh as often as you can.

Whether vain set 10

And I'm back. Why? Well, if you look at the dates and know how to count, you'll probably find out... Anyway, I know I look thinner but I'm not any less heavy. Still 150 pounds. I have new shirts that are S's. And even my old pants are not as tight. My hair has grown quite long. Whenever I have the urge to have it cut, someone tells me it looks nice. In the collage, I am seen in six different places, the most number of places I am pictured in in any Whether Vain set so far. Just sharing...

Graphic Expression

If you want to create your own custom images like the one below to use in your websites, blogs, presentations, etc., then I suggest you click the title of this entry and head on over to ImageChef.com where you can customize images for whatever needs you have. Fancy writing in the sand or on wet cement? Want to see how your name looks like tatooed on someone's back? Browse ImageChef's library of customizable images now and you may just find that special graphic to send your special someone.

Simpsonize!

Straight from the Simpsons' universe, here are two new characters! Ben is an acter while Jerry is a writor.

100th blog post

Wow. A year ago, I was hesitant to get a blog of my own because my web host service for jaybeecc.com already came with a forum where I could post whatever I wanted to write about. And for years I was content with that. Well, things evolve somehow, and a blog is the way to easily get your stuff/content out into the wide web world.

Initially, I re-posted some of what I already wrote in my website forum. You can read them here. And then I stopped for a couple of months to concentrate on the independent film, Mean Well. And when I came back to post, I tried to set a theme... pictures of Churches I go to to attend mass in. I wasn't able to continuously visit a different church every Sunday so that idea fell through. And then slowly, and starting from the time I got a camera phone to take pictures more quickly than when I just used my video camera, I got into a rhythm of posting pictures of people, things, and places that interest me. And now, more frequently and consistently, I post short articles accompanied by pictures of people, things, and places that I experience.

One thing in this blog I'd like to maybe pursue later is to collect Fingermask'd pictures of people. It's certainly quirky and original (thanks to Warren Herrero, my officemate who gave me the idea by posing the Fingermask way in one photo I took of him). And then there could be a new pose coming- it's called the break-neck pose and you could see a couple of photos of me in this pose in the latter sets of the Whether Vain project.

From writing literary stuff, to songs to mail-zines (above image from Bitch n' Feces: Rare Pure Gas), to making my own website portal, to making independent digital features, to posting to this blog, to vlogging... things are coming together nicely. Now, I'd like to try to be able to get something from the hours I spend online, to maybe help finance my next independent feature project.

In the meantime, as a tip of the hat to the days when I was somehow able to write poetry, here's something I wrote yesterday. It's cheesy, I know. I love cheese!

I thank God for blessing my soul
and gifting you to me
stars align
conspire even
to bring us to today

I swear to make it last
imperfect though am I
this feeling I won't wish to undo
no doubt or indecision
for the lifetime remaining
I commit myself to pursuing your happiness
I love you so
and for life, this affirmation

Whether vain set 09

And just as this series ends, a more exciting chapter begins. And there's a clue in this set. No, not a new haircut. It's never been in the other sets. No, it's not my new seat at the 35th floor of my building. It's... if I have been optimistic or positive before, I am absolutely feeling astronomical, heavenly even. It's as if nothing can go wrong and everything has a reason for taking so long. And it's been a long wait but it's all worth it. All good things to those who wait, they say. Well, there aren't enough words to describe how happy and grateful I feel right now. So happy I could cry. Like when I'm watching my favorite TV show Wish Ko Lang and they're featuring a reunion or really big assistance to someone in real dire need... More clues in succeeding posts.

Back to the Whether Vain project: I don't look much different from when I started 81 days and pictures ago. My weight still went from 151 to 149 and back to 151. I've had a couple of haircuts. I've gone through another election where my family got an amusing surprise. I've started drinking soda (light sodas only) again after 2 years. And I'm about to go to a new project at work where I don't know how things will be. I still always smile everyday, try to make other people smile or laugh too. The first and last things I do everyday is still thank God for all His blessings. 81 days. A lot has happened. And a lot has remained the same. Life has been just how I like it to be- simple yet complicated, fun and difficult. But it's all worthwhile. This picture-taking project may have ended (for now) but it has been a reminder for me to be grateful for and try to work with anything that I receive, not because when comparing with other people I could appear to be more blessed, but because I have this great opportunity to experience life and experience other people, to experience all these emotions, and see the world and learn, and try to maybe affect at least one more person in a positive way. I could die tomorrow and no one will have memory of me but that's the least of one's worries because life is like a photograph, it fades and disappears. Was that a genuine smile at least that you flashed in the photo?

To Where You Are

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One more set to go... this set started with me on an unbelievable high and then I went a little antsy about my job slash work slash career (path)... oh, well.

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A lot of things happened during this set. Angst. Fear. Love. God is so good I am continuously blessed. The future is uncertain but in the present there's contentment. And of course, always working for something better. Cheers!

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This set saw a very stressful week at work, some dating "down"-time, and just a few hours of sleep everyday.

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It's been a very, very stressful few days at work- I've been going home pretty late, and other tasks are not showing signs of letting up. It's partly my fault too because I'm the one choosing to spread myself thinly. I don't know if it will work to my advantage and eventually bring me to do work I really like to focus on. But for now, it (not even barely) pays the bills, and I try to enjoy myself as much as I can. What's starting to show- the stress or the trying to enjoy part?

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